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This is totally an accurate representation of my winter bod.
It's December, which means that many of us are currently weeping over eggnog and pie about, well, everything.
This year, I'm finding myself in a situation where, financially, I can't even begin to measure up to the holiday hype that my girls and I became accustomed to. Like a lot of parents, I overcompensated in the past, since I had the means to do it (and sometimes even when I didn't). Growing up, my Dad was a Jehovah's Witness, so I didn't get to celebrate Christmas the way all my friends did. When I became a parent, not only was I excited at the prospect of Christmas for my kids, I had ZERO idea what a realistic Christmas looked like for normal, lower-middle class families.
Guys, I seriously based MY expectations of what my kids' Christmases should look like on what I saw on TV and in the movies.
This is not normal, guys. On any level.
Which brings me to my first point:
REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON. Okay, now I know that some of you have a religious take on Christmas, and that's wonderful. Some of you don't, and that's okay too. Either way, I'm pretty sure that when you think of Christmas, your first thought isn't, "I wonder how far I can go into crippling debt so my little Suzie has all the same stuff as her friends at school."
See, aside from my Gibbler-levels of insanity as far as how many presents I got my kids, I also have this thing where I can't stand the thought of someone not having somewhere to go on Christmas. My house was the hub for my family, and friends, and drifters, and whomever else had nowhere else to go on Christmas. Then, I have this other thing where I can't stand the idea of someone not having at least one present to open on Christmas, especially kids.
GUYS.
Especially if you're short on cash, focus on one or two "big" presents for your kids, and then spend the rest of your energy of being a family. Put on your pajamas, pop some popcorn, and watch Christmas movies. Sing Christmas karaoke. Light a bonfire and drink hot chocolate and make s'mores, whatever. Make memories, not reasons to file Chapter 7. Your kids won't hate you for not getting them everything in the Sears catalog (do they even still have those?), I promise.
And if they do, they're probably going to shove you in a nursing home in 40 years or so, anyway. At least you'll know now to spend your retirement on a yacht instead of saving it for their inheritance.
I was going to put something here about being just kidding, but I Googled "kidding," and literally all that came up was pictures of Jim Carrey. Wut.
Speaking of family, I notice this strange phenomenon that happens during the holidays where people force themselves and each other to interact with people that they hate.
STOP THAT.
Let me say that again, a little louder this time:
STOP FORCING YOURSELF TO INTERACT WITH UNPLEASANT PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE IT'S THE HOLIDAYS. Actually, ESPECIALLY since it's the holidays.
Look. We all have family members we don't get along with. Some of them we can tolerate in small doses, and some of them elicit heart palpitations just at the mere mention of their name. If you're the one hosting a get-together, you DO NOT have to invite these people. If you're attending someone else's get-together, you don't have to go, you don't have to stay the duration, and you don't have to spend any personal time with bitter Aunt Mildred who won't quit asking why you're getting so fat but still haven't given your poor mother any more grandchildren.
I know there's some kind of crazy etiquette that says it's rude not to include everyone that shares any semblance of DNA with you. But you know what else is rude? Getting an obligatory invitation and using it as a means to be a miserable poop stain on what should be a happy time of year.
No, maybe YOU should skip that pie, you joy-sapping {censored}
Now, for those of you that still feel the need to buy something for everyone, or who like the look of extra presents under the tree (I'm not judging, I'm totally guilty of this too), here are a few tips:
PEOPLE LOVE FOOD. I know, duh. But here's the thing - you know those little tins of butter cookies that you can get at literally any mass retailer? How about those boxes of chocolate covered cherries/blueberries/apparently anything you can smother in liquefied sugar and chocolate and package? Little Debbie snack cakes? Boxes of hot chocolate?
All of these things are under $3 (in most places) and qualify as presents if you wrap them and/or slap a bow on them. Especially for kids.
If you're crafty, or especially good in the kitchen, you can get tins at Dollar Tree and fill them with fudge, cookies, chocolate-dipped pretzels, brittle, and all kinds of other super cheap but delicious things.
You know what else is great about food gifts? Unlike that crazy tie or pair of blinky reindeer socks, food is MUCH more likely to be appreciated, used, and NOT regifted. Christmas win!
The rum truffles are just truffles, but I feel great!
Speaking of cooking, here's another de-stressing tip:
YOU ARE NOT, NOR DO YOU HAVE TO BE, MARTHA STEWART.
Or Rachel Ray. Or whoever the big timey chef is these days who has a special recipe for everything and acts like every breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack should be presented like it's being prepared and served in the White House and is budgeted for people who really have too much money to begin with.
But Sandra, my mother/grandmother/auntie got up every year at the buttcrack of dawn and cooked everything from scratch. It's tradition!
I know, hypothetical reader, I know.
Still, do you really think the wonderful hostesses of Christmas past would have passed up pre-made pies or boxed stuffing if it meant spending less time in the kitchen and more time with their families? Or, let's be real here - sleeping? Likely not.
I know it feels like cheating to buy a pumpkin pie rather than spend 3 hours making one. But really, everyone piles so much Cool Whip on top of the stuff that it's barely recognizable as a pumpkin pie anyway, right?
Save yourself some time and headache (and money, in some cases) by buying at least part of your holiday fair pre-made.
BONUS HACK: Make your Christmas dinner a potluck. Assign each guest a side and/or dessert, and guess what? There's plenty of food, and you've just saved yourself a ton of time and money.
I knew this guy would come in handy someday.
Lastly, CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK.
Okay, fellow Mommas (and Daddys, of course) - listen to me. This is important.
This time of year is crazy hectic. You feel like you have a million things to do and no time to do it in. There are reasons that depression is at all time highs this time of year, and I can't even begin to list them all here.
Make some time for you. Go for a walk. Visit some friends. Read a book. Put the kids to bed a little early and take an extra long bubble bath. Sing Debbie Gibson songs at full volume into a hair brush while dancing around the living room, whatever. And don't feel bad about it. You can't be superparent and take care of everyone and everything else if you don't take care of yourself first.
Now, after you do that, if you still feel those little seeds of doubt creep in about money or presents or whatever, I want you to ask yourself a couple questions:
Are you present and accounted for in your kids' life? Yeah?
Have you ever heard your child say, "read me another story, PS4?" I hope not, that would be weird.
YOU are the most important thing that your child needs, whether it's July or December. You're doing just fine, honey. You're doing just fine.
- Sandra
Happy Holidays! If you're looking for the most popular toys for 2018, I can't help you. But, if you're looking for a distraction from the holiday blues, you can join me on Facebook!
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