Sandra Reviews Stuff

I recently found out that a lot of companies pay for product reviews. Like, they send you free stuff, you use it, say nice things about it to strangers online, keep the free stuff, and get paid.

What the shit, internet?

And here I thought a girl had to post pictures of her skivvies online to make any money.

Naughty, naughty... Cotton Stretch... Hipsters... That's how this works, right?

Nah, apparently my brief stint in silly Amazon reviews was preparing me for something greater. As a matter of fact, Amazon, by my calculations, you owe me a free Prime membership and about 15 cases of Skin Food Peach Toner.  I'm just saying.

I use Ibotta - (Yes, that's a referral link. Yes, I'll be compensated if you sign up. I'm feeding 6 kids, don't judge me.) a nifty coupon app that gives me rebates on stuff I use already. I've done the BzzAgent thing (which for some reason is temporarily shut down so they can tweak the log in?). 

But now, it's time to expand my creativity and embark on a world of writing where I don't post to Facebook as "Only Me." 

Googled "Woman in cape." Humans are a dirty, dirty species.

So I thought, what better way to get into the swing of things than to practice reviewing on the things I'm using right now? Right?

I'm currently chugging a Dr. Pepper and shoving a glazed donut in my piehole indulging in carbonated prune juice a bubblicious soft drink and a lightly glazed pastry as I write this. 

Mom would be so proud. Also, you really CAN find anything on Google.

The Dr Pepper is satisfyingly bubbly, even though it reminds me quickly that I'm in my 30s by how quickly I have to make a mad dash to the ladie's room with a cleansing after effect.  The donut comes from a local place, and has a slight tinge of old oil, but it has super cool ghost-shaped sprinkles on it, so it takes me back to adolescence a little.

This is hard.

It's just a donut, and I now have a tiny orange ghosty sprinkle stuck in between my teeth.  So yeah, I need to go take care of that. ...with my minty fresh Colgate toothpaste!

Total! Whitening! Slays dragon breath and totally doesn't taste like peppermints your Grandma has been carrying in the bottom of her purse since the Depression!

.... I'm fired already.