Parenting Hits & Misses

Of Barbie and Women

I'm noticing a tug-of-war between women and the media lately - women feel that the media doesn't accurately portray the true spectrum of beauty, while the media argues that the images they present sell; and both are right. When you're trying to raise healthy young women in a body-conscious society, how do you decide which battles to fight?  Read more

 

Elf on the Shelf - A Prelude to Child Therapy

 

 

I missed the memo a couple of years ago when it became socially acceptable to seed pediophobia in the minds of young children.  Elf on the Shelf showed up in pallets at the Hastings where I worked, and sold out before we had time to unpack them, parents and grandparents storming the store in a panicked frenzy to get this little guy in time for holiday hijinks.  Read more

 

 

 

Because I Said So, That's Why 

Of all the random crap that I could be writing about, today I caught myself patting myself on the back as I watched my girls sit down to their lunch, ignore the small handful of chips they each had on their plates, and go straight to demolishing the slightly larger portions of baby carrots sitting next to them.  Read more

 

Child at Heart

It snuck up on me. I worked in daycare for 3 years, plus I have 2 small children (5 and 3 years old), so that was my excuse for watching cartoons and buying every shiny toy that stuck out in a department store. I'd secretly sit in the dark even after my girls went to bed, munching on popcorn and sneaking jelly beans and giggling while Spongebob and Patrick got Squidword zapped repeatedly by a jellyfish.  Read more

 

The Infamous Facebook Toy Rant

Sincerely,
Every parent in the country  Read more

 

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Both of my children have a Breakthrough to Literacy program going in each of their schools - which is great, don't get me wrong - but I've read the Cat in the Hat so many times this last week that in real life conversations I'm beginning to sound like I'm channeling Dr. Seuss.

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Hide and Seek

I'm not sure if I'm the "cool aunt," or if I've unwittingly nominated myself family babysitter, but I've had a substantial rise in visits from my nieces and nephews in the past couple of weeks.  Read more

 

Conspiracy Theory #34: Contamination in the Gene Pool

Today's subject of my senseless rambling, in case you didn't already tell from the title, has to do with the genes our children inevitably inherit that you really sometimes wish you could just suck out and inject into the children of someone you really don't like.  Read more

 

Nautical Nonsense and Other Time-Waste Worthy Rants

It's not the stream of redundant cartoons that my children insist that HAVE to watch 24 hours a day, no matter how many times I tell them no or try to lure them away with crayons, swimming, or a semi-educational game of Candyland. It's not even the increasingly obnoxious theme songs that get stuck in your head after your children run screaming them through the house for hours... Read more

 

Conspiracy Theories #42-43: Junior WWE & Yahoo! Messenger

In the land of Parenthood, you would think it would be safer to have girls than to have boys.

...but you'd be wrong.  Read more 

 

Conspiracy Theory #301: Bedtime Resistance

Anyone who has kids knows that you need major reinforcements (or a rubber mallet?) to get them down for a nap - and my girls are definitely no exception.  Read more

 

Give Me Some Milk, or the Puppy Gets It

Aside from my children now thinking that using the potty is a team sport, my youngest daughter has decided that she should get what she wants, when she wants it - or else.

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Potty Training the Puppy

When my youngest daughter came to me this morning telling me she had to go potty, I had no idea of the events that were about to unfold.  Read more

 

Conspiracy Theory #122 - the Link Between Parenting and Tourette's Syndrome-

What I bet you didn't know though, is that, just like insanity, you inherit it not from your parents - but from your children. And let me tell you, if it's not Tourette's, we're in trouble - because if it's NOT Tourette's then all our children have the telekinetic ability to locate and tweak the crap out of any and all "angry" buttons.  Read more

 

Potty Training at Grand Central Station and the New "Child" -

This isn't JUST a puppy. Oh yes, he's cute, he's small, he's mild-mannered, and he's actually potty training better than my 3 year old (who I've been TRYING to potty train between working, moving, and endless company/house guests for the last year and a half). He's a wrinkly, grunting, waddling poop factory with a face that only a mother (or my husband) could love. No joke - this puppy poops 5 times his own body weight in a day - and usually in my house.
 Read more

 

Inherited Insanity -

Following in the family tradition of superhero pretend, my oldest daughter has become Captain Obvious.  Only, she’s not pretending.  Read more