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Mirror & Hourglass

Part I

All jokes about involuntary bodily functions and unwanted hair in places you didn’t even know it could grow aside, getting older is, as my Dad always used to say, not for pussies. read more

Part II - Father Knows Best

My earliest memory is of him, with my mother’s pantyhose on his head, dancing around, trying to make me laugh.  I swore for years that he was pretending to be a bunny.

“No,” he’d correct me, quite seriously – every time, “I was a jester.”  Because when a grown man puts a woman’s pantyhose on his head, he’d better either be robbing a bank or pretending to be a jester to make his child giggle.  Anything else would just be silly.  read more 

Part III - Life With Father

 Dad had a soft spot for old trucks, so we cruised in style in everything from a Divco milk truck to a classic  green Ford truck that he had hand painted and mounted a plastic duck head (a decapitated lawn ornament – poor guy) on as a hood ornament.  We got some strange looks in that Ford, but as soon as people saw Dad’s 6 foot 7, 250-plus pound frame emerge from that truck, there were nothing but nervous smiles and averted glances.  read more

Part IV - Dad on Dating and Lesbians

At 14, my Dad was completely and utterly convinced that I was a lesbian.  I have to take blame for that one, admittedly, considering my hatred for boys my age and the fact that my friend T and I had conspired to get his permission for me to go to the Christmas Ball despite the fact that Dad was Jehovah’s Witness and we didn’t celebrate conventional holidays. Read more

Part V - Losing Dad

If I documented every memory I have of my Dad, this thing would be a proverbial Dickens novel and I’d probably never get it finished. For those of you that knew Dad, I know you appreciate these things even more, because you probably remember the silly puns and crazy nicknames, the giant man inappropriately dressed in booty shorts dancing around as “the Manglo,” the witty comebacks, the bitter beer face, and the ever-so-constant reminder of what you should never, ever do to a family of badgers.  Read more
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