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Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Why Being Offended is a Huge Waste of Time


I'm sure you've noticed that, suddenly, everyone's pissed off at everyone else for everything.  Small things, big things, things that don't personally pertain to them but they somehow have made themselves the center of a crusade that means and accomplishes nothing.

That about sums it up, right?  I'll bet some people are even pissed off at the title of this blog post.

Suck it.

You want to know why?

Let me begin by formally defining the term for you. says:



a violation or breaking of a social or moral rule; transgression; sin.
a transgression of the law; misdemeanor.
a cause of transgression or wrong.
something that offends or displeases.
the act of offending or displeasing.
the feeling of resentful displeasure caused:
to give offense.
the act of attacking; attack or assault:
weapons of offense.
Okay guys, pay attention.  When you're offended (ie: that bitch said my haircut was awful), the context of offense here is something that offends or displeases (definitions 4 & 5).  You might have taken offense at the bitch's statement (definition 6).

Googled "offended."  Was not disappointed.

Had said bitch tried to hold you down and lop your hair off because they didn't like the cut, that would have been a violation or breaking of a social or moral rule (definitions 1, 2, or 3), or even possibly an attack or assault (definition 7); a criminal offense.  TOTALLY NOT THE SAME THING.

One could even say that they were offended by your awful haircut, but that even further illustrates how silly the idea of being offended is.

I can do this all day, people.

See, people have these things called opinions.

The beautiful thing about opinions is that there's no law that says yours has to match anyone else's. Or even make any damn sense.  And neither do anyone else's.

So, I could tell you that my opinion is that leggings are not freaking pants and that anyone who wears them without a shirt/dress long enough to cover their bottoms look like they forgot their pants altogether, and that opinion should profoundly affect absolutely no one.  Some of you might be nodding your head in agreement right now, while others might be scoffing at the screen with their pantylines shouting from their uncovered, be-legginged bottoms, but no one's life will ever be dramatically changed by that statement.  Don't like leggings?  Don't wear them.  Like wearing leggings?  Rock those suckers.  

See what I did there?

My offense at someone else's choices has absolutely no value in that person's life.  Conversely, I give approximately two rat turds about someone else's opinion about my choices.  So rather than waste my time fuming over someone's very vocal objections to my random bursts of songs-that-maybe-loosely-have-something-to-do-with-what-someone-just-said, I simply move along with my life.  I like randomly bursting into song, so who cares if not everyone appreciates that talent?  Not me.

It's not every day someone says, "I see a little silhouette-o of a man" in conversation, so you have to jump on that chance when it comes along.

A viable reaction to a small offense should be confined to the equivalent of two syllables:  Who cares?  That's dumb. {censored} you.  Piss off.  I disagree.

... and then life goes on.  See how easy that is?

Can't win 'em all.

Don't agree with gay marriage?  Don't marry a gay person.  Think Abercrombie & Fitch is a horrible place to shop because the troll that owns it thinks his merchandise is only fit for miniaturized modern-day Norse Gods?  Don't shop there.  Think Dunkin Donuts is an affront to pastry with their mutant abomination they call the "cronut?"  There's a freaking Krispy Kreme right around the corner, for cripes sakes, just walk the extra half black for your plain-glazed yeast donuts.  There's no need to picket and boycott because your deepest sensibilities are offended by the senseless creation of a hybrid pastry.

Don't like my singing?  Here, I brought ear plugs.

No one said we couldn't be considerate of other people's opinions, either.

You'll probably be disappointed to find out that there are no videos of my random singing on my Facebook page, but there's lots of other funny stuff.  And probably plenty to offend you if you're one of those people.

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