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Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Extended Summer


Well... Turns out that my kids got an extra month of summer vacation because the rebuilding of the high school is *conveniently* still happening and the town we live in has a slight aversion to piling kids up in old abandoned buildings to fill the required amount of school days until it is finished.



Today's lesson:  Asbestos and Bloodyface.

This has thrown off my entire sense of time.  

It's not unusual for me to forget what day of the week it is in the summertime, considering that my girls aren't in school and are either visiting with their dad or hanging out with me on the days when I'm actually not working.  Working in retail, my "schedule" looks more like the pattern of lucid moments in the life of someone suffering from part-time insanity.  I'm not trying to be funny - that's actually how I would characterize my feelings about the time I actually get to spend with my family versus the time I spend hawking shoes to people I would painstakingly try to avoid in the real world.


Anywho, my girls aren't super happy about it, either.  This is extra strange to me, since I would have danced an epic victory dance in my childhood if I had gotten an extra month of summer.


"Epic" is slight hyperbole.  This...this is pretty accurate.

My girls aren't little anymore - at 10 and 13 they're in that awkward in-the-middle stage where they still want to do little girl stuff but don't want anyone to know about it because they've discovered peer image and, like all of us at that age, they don't want to look like dorks because they want to fit in. 

Because of this, they bore easily and I find things like this on my computer:

Pictured: the crazy sharks in the gene pool.  Apparently one of them... is a cannibal?

A camera???  O.M.GEEEEE.

I mustache you a question.  Do you have any Grey Poupon?

...and in this wonderful Internet age, I'm already prepping myself for the meltdown that's going to follow one of my girls discovering these picture posted here.

In case you're wondering who that third person is, it's some crazy chick who breaks into my house, takes pictures like these and leaves them on my computer, eats all the waffles and mini chocolate chips, and then doesn't visit or call for months on end.  She looks a lot like my niece, but it can't be her, because my niece came to see me more than once every 6 months.


I'll just leave this here....


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