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Sunday, January 05, 2014

The Jennifer Lawrence Phenomenon

A disclaimer, before I start this rant:  I love Jennifer Lawrence.  She's a good actress, she seems more down-to-Earth than typical Hollywood fembot, and her reaction to a chance encounter with Jack Nicholson during a post-Oscar interview is beyond adorable: 

It's easy to see why America has fallen in love with the quintessential "girl next door," but for cripes sakes, can we lay off of her a little?

Do a Google search for Jennifer Lawrence.  Seriously, just do it.  Now search "Jennifer Lawrence is perfect."

See what I mean?  She's "flawless," she's "perfect," she's the most beautiful creation in the history of mankind, an angel built from God's eyelashes and Cupid's freaking tears of joy. 

Heaven in a standard package.
No, she's not - that's why America loves her.

But Sandra, what's wrong with complimenting a young Hollywood starlet on being successful and still being humble? 

Nothing, except that when you heap praise on someone and set the bar too high, well, problems abound all the way around.

No names or anything.

Well, that's not fair, Sandra - Jennifer would never -

I know, I know.  Point is, what happens if Jennifer *happens* to do something totally normal for a girl her age, like maybe misgauge her alcohol tolerance, or run a stop sign, or forget to pull her skirt down before the paparazzi jumps out of the bushes and sticks their camera between her knees?

Spoiler:  It will be on ALL these covers, that's what.

And why can't we ever be honest?  I like Jennifer Lawrence because she's kind of an awkward dork.  That's not a put-down - awkward dorks are fun to hang out with.  They're normal.  It's endearing that she looks kind of uncomfortable in fancy dresses (even tripping in them, as many of us probably would), and has no qualms about telling the world she'd tell anyone who mentions a diet to her to f*ck off.

Which apparently is what happened here.  You know, 'cause she looks sooo fat in that dress.

So America, I beg you - stop.  Just stop.  Buy a thesaurus and find some new adjectives, pretty, pretty please?


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