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Saturday, December 07, 2013

Because I Said So, That's Why

Of all the random crap that I could be writing about, today I caught myself patting myself on the back as I watched my girls sit down to their lunch, ignore the small handful of chips they each had on their plates, and go straight to demolishing the slightly larger portions of baby carrots sitting next to them.

I remember when I was much younger, before I had kids, listening to friends and family members lament about how their two year old refused to drink anything in their little sippy cups besides soda, or sweet tea, or -believe it or not - Red Bull.  Even as a kid, this baffled me.  Never in my experience dealing with small children had I ever seen an infant emerge from the womb clamoring for caffeine and sugar, the way I do in the mornings when I first wake up and hate all of existence before that first cup of coffee.  Babies don't hiss at sunlight the way that teenagers do as their sugar and yellow dye #5 withdrawals kick in - because babies don't even know what these things are.  It's all bottles and boobies for these youngsters, until their idiot parents think it might be funny to lace their kid's bottle with artificial stimulants and then wonder why they act like Tasmanian devils on crack.

That jager-bomb might have been a bad idea.

So today's lesson, parents, is that if you want your kids to have good eating habits, YOU HAVE TO TEACH THEM TO THEM.  Don't shovel syrup into their gullets and then expect them to ask for apples, or make the mistake of thinking that a McDonalds Happy Meal equates a well-balanced meal (ketchup is a vegetable, right?). 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there should never, ever be any sugar, artificial flavorings, or caffeine (because you have to admit, that stuff is pretty awesome), but you shouldn't be introducing them until your kid already has a taste for natural, healthy foods - otherwise you're fighting an uphill battle trying to convert Cookie Monster to a vegan.

This is an unusual amount of Muppet-type references for one post.
Until next time... :)
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