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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Deep Thoughts

That’s right folks, it’s out with the mindless trash talking and in with this round of memorable quotes & conversations you really didn’t want to walk in on the middle of - Reality Challenged style.

**Writer cannot be held accountable for sudden bouts of nausea or sinus cavity damage from spewing carbonated beverages through your nose.

Memorable Quotes:
“Seriously - he could be in a dead sleep and I’d lay down in bed and he’d roll over and start humping my leg - that’s why I wouldn’t let the kids sleep between us.” -LM

“Momma, are squids those big pointy things with testicles?”
“No honey, that’s called a man.” -HL & NS

“She pays in pu**y - not to be confused with pesos.” -CC

“Don’t spew your coffee out your nose yet, let me get my camera first!” -LM

Conversations you really didn’t want to walk in on the middle of:
“…she sharted on herself, so she like yanks me behind her and tells me to stay right there, and I was on poop patrol and I was like, ‘It’s ok Mom, I got ya covered.’” *sings Mission Impossible theme* “I am the poop detective.” -JC

“…ain’t nothing’ comin’ near my face if it smells like pee - I’ll take a Q-tip to that phucker if I have to.” -LM

“…hold on, I got my mouth full of camel right now.” -SH

“…he just rolls it up, and it actually stays there.” - SC

I know, I know - it’s not the most impressive list this time, but I’ve been busy doing damage control and derailing imbeciles the last couple of months, so my time has been pretty much monopolized by that and my memory capacity for the redundant was pretty well filled up.

...and yes, it's another lazy day....

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