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Friday, September 05, 2008

Conspiracy Theory #982 - Useless Movie Quotes

I don't know about you, but I can't remember half of what I learned in history class. I can't remember the passages from Romeo and Juliet, Ceasar, or Beowulf that we were forced to memorize in highschool. And I have no idea what our guest speakers were blabbing about at graduation.

I can, however, remember in great detail every movie quote that ever made me giggle. AND, I can annoy any unfortunate individual in my presence with them on cue.

You see this one coming already, don't you?

Don't sit there and pretend you don't do it too. Seriously, just who are you trying to fool?

Yes, it's another list. So sue me.

"I do have a test today. that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who cares if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

--- Ferris Beuller

....Hmm, I don't think he was bitter about not getting a car, do you?

"Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp-out runaway decency in the west. Now, you will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor."

--- Hedley Lamar, Blazing Saddles

"I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn't my fault, I swear to god!"

--- Jake Blues, the Blues Brothers


--- Bubble Boy

Richard Vernon: False alarms are really funny, aren't they. What if your home, what if your family . . . what if your dope was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

--- the Breakfast Club

"When you think of garbage, think of Akeem."

--- Prince Akeem, Coming to America

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense, you're only saying that because no one ever has.

--- the Princess Bride

"We're in the middle of bumfudged nowhere and 'you shore do got a purdy mouth'."

--- Tom, Without a Paddle

" not only does he give us directions - my man drew us a MAP."

--- Keitz, Bulletproof

"Human thought is so primitive, it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. That kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?"

--- K, Men in Black

In case you were wondering, yes I am having a lazy day today - what of it? :)

Until next time...
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