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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Birthday Bliss

First, my apologies for not posting more lately, but my house has been overrun with midgets and a satellite has intercepted my brain waves, making it painfully impossible to come up with anything original.

Yes, I'm reaching - sorry for that. Next.

Today's my birthday (thank you, thank you, hold your applause), and I'm now officially one year past a quarter of a century old.

Think it's time to start counting back yet? Or be 26 until I'm 80, riddled with Alzheimer's, and don't really give a shit if anyone knows how old I am (that is, if I an remember how old I am, what my name is, or if I put pants on that morning), as long as they're willing to cut up my nursing home meatloaf for me?

Ah, Alzheimer's. Oh come on - you know me, you can't say you really didn't see that one coming.

It's a horrible disease, but for the person who has it, it might actually be kind of cool.

Hear me out before you flag this blog, geez...

  • Every day is a brand new day.
  • When you see someone, it's like meeting them for the first time - and you can say something really, really tacky, and not have to feel bad about it later.
  • You can grab that hot mail person's bum and not get slapped in the face - every day.
  • You can forget your pants and no one can say a thing about it.
  • You can flip off little kids and get away with it, as long as you're smiling while you do it.
  • Even if you have to eat nursing home meatloaf every day for the rest of your life, you'll never get tired of it because you won't remember that you've had it every day for the last 3 years.
  • You can leave your house wearing nothing but a raincoat, a shower cap, a flip flop and a snow shoe, and just like the sans-pants thing - no one can say a word.
  • There's no endless guilt trip when you forget your anniversary or your wife's birthday.
  • If you get bored of a conversation you can just let your eyes wander into space and whoever is talking to you will leave you alone - no questions asked.
  • On the same note, you could interrupt them with,"Oh my, it's so nice to have company. My name is (insert name), what's your's?" or even just "Where the hell am I, who the hell are you, and where the hell are my pants?"

So, sick and demented as it may be, there are just a few of the things that might be great about memory loss. Of course, you wouldn't remember those experiences to be able to appreciate them... But the thought is a bit fun.

Until next time...

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