Long Time No Pointless Rant

Believe it or not, there comes a time even in my life where I have absolutely nothing to talk about.

I'll give you a couple seconds to recover from that bombshell.

Better? Ok, I'll continue.

It's not like my girls, family, or friends don't give me enough ammo - I mean, *inspiration*- for things to write about, it's just that sometimes all that useless information gets jammed together and scrambles itself into kind of a redundant, amorphous, pulsing blob somewhere deep within the proverbial silly putty that is my brain. Suffice to say that whatever does manage to seep out of it is, at best, short of any real substance or meaning, and might actually be a bit smelly.

I got a suggestion for writing about "stupid tendencies," and while I appreciate input, I do apologize but - it's just too easy. Seriously.

Although, speaking of amorphous blobs and stupid tendencies, I will say - if you're drinking and you're given money for no reason by someone who looks like they should be rolled back into the ocean by Greenpeace - RUN.

Don't argue, don't ask questions, don't look back - just run.

In case you're wondering, yes I am referring to someone I know, and while I won't mention names, I will mention that we are all very worried for this person's safety and well-being. Was he smothered? Was he eaten? Is he scared and alone, lost in the caverns of the Land of Long Forgotten Big Macs and Curly Fries, sending smoke signals in vain for help?

I warned you that this post might be smelly.

At any rate, I just want to say to that long lost friend that we're praying for your safe return.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this post might get me killed, severely beaten, or wrapped in bubble wrap and poked with a stick, the answer is most likely yes.

...but it's funny, so I don't care.

/runs away