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Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Cat's on the Roof

These last couple of weeks have been full of drama and overall strange occurances, and being the realist that I am (no comments from the Peanut Gallery, thank you), I have to take time out to take a step back and look at both sides of every situation in order to fully appreciate the Big Picture.

Okay, I seriously have nothing better to do, humor me, ok?

So, here are the highlights of the past couple of weeks, condensed into Good News/Bad News format:

GOOD NEWS: I haven't been beaten to death or wrapped in bubble wrap and poked with a stick.
BAD NEWS: While that certain friend managed to escape captivity, he's emerged in shock, traumatized, and obviously delerious, which is why I was laughed at instead of being beaten or wrapped in bubble wrap and poked with a stick.

GOOD NEWS: We have our own Dr. Phil at our disposal to help rehabilitate our delerious friend.
BAD NEWS: He's so brilliant he got into a fight with a shovel and smashed his thumb, did something to his back, AND he knows where the bubble wrap is... Hopefully there's no "anger management" therapy for Mr. Greenpeace in the future, or I'm in trouble.

GOOD NEWS: My girls are getting over whatever monster virus they caught out of nowhere.
BAD NEWS: It took 3 days of head-spinning and pea soup spewing to get there.

GOOD NEWS: The puppy's actually grasping the concept of pottying OUTSIDE.
BAD NEWS: He's retarded, so he'll forget by tomorrow. Three cheers for Special Ed.

GOOD NEWS: My ex and I are actually getting along.
BAD NEWS: One or both of us has either been sick or sleeping the last few days.

GOOD NEWS: I'm losing weight.
BAD NEWS: It's all in my bra. *CENSORED* you, Estrogen.

GOOD NEWS: Mr. Greenpeace survived the flood.
BAD NEWS: It wasn't a flood, Einstein drove into a creek.

GOOD NEWS: I get away with surprising amounts of harassment and just plain meanness, all for the sake of entertainment.
BAD NEWS: I'm a firm believer in Karma. Do I really have to say more?

I think I'll start my little yellow list now, while I'm thinking about it.
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