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Monday, October 22, 2007

Ah, Football

{Originally written in 2007.  Edited to remove any references to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and to include Sheldon Cooper because, well, why the hell not?}.


It seems that it's football season, and the world will come to a cataclysmic end if all men are not glued to their televisions all day every Sunday to watch it.

Now, I don't dislike football, I just can't stand to watch it on tv. Don't ask me why, just quirky I guess. Maybe if I got a giant foam finger for home use and a screaming hot dog vendor to stand at the door, I might be a little more apt to perch myself on the couch and cheer for whatever team I dislike the least.

That's the other thing. Men will watch a football game regardless of whether their favorite team is playing. In fact, I've seen men growl over the remote just so they can watch a game involving two teams that they HATE. Why? I have no idea. Is there testosterone seeping from the screen, sending our men into virtual Nirvana with every touchdown?

I guess that's one of the mysteries of the Universe that women will never know.

Myself, I'll tolerate a day of football. I secretly don't loathe it as much as people may think, I just like watching them foam at the mouth when I pretend to reach for the remote. Honestly, I wouldn't know a legendary coach if I saw one. I don't know who won Super Bowl XVI, and I'm not really sure what a Nickel Defense is.

Me, I'm in it for the tight ends.


Bazinga!



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