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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Conspiracy Theory # 292: Boredom Breeds Destruction

hmm. So I'm at work (shhhhh) and I don't have a single, solitary thing to do. The phone is silent, the door stays shut, all the files are filed, the copies copied, and the dictations - um - dictated. Granted, I'm paid fairly well to do pretty much nothing, but I find that when my brain comes to a halt, It takes some time and effort to get it back into gear.

Actually, that explains A LOT.

When I was a kid, sitting at a computer like this with absolutely nothing to do wouldn't have been so bad - I'd have turned the computer off, gotten up, and found something else to do. Usually that something involved lighting stuff on fire, but that's a compltely diferent issue.

For the record: No, I'm not a Firebug.

Or a Pyro.

Not really, anyway.

But I digress.

It's times like these that my mind wanders into those forbidden zones, 45 degrees from nowhere, where one pictures themselves half-naked on a beach in Maui sipping Pina Coladas while Matthew McCaughnahey fans them with a giant feathered fan --- or maybe that's just me.

Either way, it gets me in trouble.

I can already see my husband reading this later, and cornering me - "Matthew, huh?"

Aside from that, who wants to be dreaming of chiseled rippling muscleness one minute, only for that thought to be broken into and cruelly violated, though unwittingly, by some crusty lawyer or client voice on the telephone.

But that's only the first danger.

I once French Manicured my nails with correction fluid - that's some POTENT stuff. After sitting in an unventilated room breathing THAT stuff for an hour or two, I wound up answering the phone - the ONLY call of the day, mind you - with, "*name deleted*'s orafice, how may I help you?"

So when I started my next job, I avoided the Correction Fluid, but alas, boredom never failed to fill my mind with destructive, demented, and sometimes downright STUPID ideas for keeping me occupied.

As for the fire thing - well, saying that it was back when I was a teenager was stretching it a bit.

But that's story for another time, as I must leave my post (pun only half-intended) and go put out a - I mean, answer the phone.

Later :)

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