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Friday, January 08, 2010

Stop Signs

Ok, my Blogger account has been cranky again and wouldn't let me into my account so apologies once more for taking so long to post.

Today's rant is thanks to the moron in his Daddy's car that ran a stop sign and almost hit my car - with my children and myself in it, in case you're wondering why the pissed off rant - a while back.

“A stop sign is a traffic sign, usually erected at road junctions, that instructs drivers to stop and then to proceed only if the way ahead is clear.” --Wikipedia

stop sign
a traffic sign requiring a motorist to stop before continuing.

If you’re one of these people who speed through stop signs regardless of the possibility of other vehicles or, God forbid, pedestrians - I invite you to speed through the new stop sign I’m going to place right in front of a cliff that plummets 500 feet and ends in a deep river, filled with pirhanna and gaters, just waiting for a nice entrĂ©e of dee-dee-dee.

On the road, assume that all other vehicles contain small children, with mothers who are pre-menstrual and carrying baseball bats. Do you REALLY want to endanger our children and piss us off, incurring the wrath that is, without a doubt, the most horrifying and deadly thing you will ever see? No, I didn’t think so.

STOP. Not, “pause,” or “slow down and give the person you almost ran into a dirty look like THEY‘RE the stupid one.” STOP. Like red lights - STOP means STOP - in other words - you just might get plowed into a nice steaming pile of idiot, instead of being the walking, breathing idiot you are now.

So, today’s public service announcement: You know that little pedal to the left of the gas? It’s called a brake pedal. Say it with me - BRAKE PEDAL. Good. I’ll break it down for you (“brake” it down, for all you pun junkies). While pedal on right make car go, “Vroom Vroom,” pedal on left make car go “Erk.” Make car stop. Make smart, responsible drivers not beat you to bloody pulp on side of road for running stop sign and not having insurance to pay for damage your dee-dee-dee has just caused.

One more time - BRAKE PEDAL. USE IT.

Have a nice day :)
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