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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Quick, Hide the Google AdSense, Part 2

Where was I? Ah yes, porn.

Is there a factory somewhere deep in Arkansas that produces peroxide blond women with G-cup silicon boobs and too much lip liner, with their brains lobotomized so all they can say is "Ooooh," "Yeah," and, "Yes Mr. Johnson, I love pie."?

Yea, and plot lines. WHAT THE HELL? Did these people have to graduate from soap opera acting school before they were allowed to star in porn? Do they have one of Jerry's Kids back there writing scripts? It's PORN, people - plot lines in a porn is about as useful as a brain is to George W. Sure, it fills space - but does it really contribute to anything?

"Oh my, is there a fire?"
"Yes, there's a fire - it's in my pants."
Bow-chicka-wow-WHAT?

That's not sexy - it's retarded. If I were busty bimbo #72, I'd be too busy laughing to let Stripping Firefighter Guy into my house, let alone do things with him that might actually - for the love of God, no - produce offspring.

Forget watching this stuff for anything sexual - I want to see the bloopers. I want to see busty bimbo #72 get overzealous trying to put out the fire in Stripping Firefighter Guy's pants and get a black eye. Maybe even knock out a tooth. Or, "Mister Firefighter, your hose is SO bi - " *FART!* ...and you see footage of Iwogima getting nuked.

Now THAT'S entertainment.

...and that is also why I will never be allowed to be involved in any process of editing porn. Blue balls would abound - it would be total chaos.

Until next time...


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