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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Quick, Hide the Google AdSense, Part 1

Anyone who's ever written online content knows that keywords are crucial. They help your content get listed in search engines, which brings traffic to your site. The more you use the same keyword in your post, the higher your ranking will be when someone googles that word.

Which brings me to my next subject - sex sells.

It's true! Mention the word "boobies" in one post and *BLAM!* - instant page views.

Granted, I think I may have disappointed a few people with that one, what with derailing their solo spank session and all - my bad.

....but - it made me think. Shaddup. Messing with people is a favorite hobby of mine, so let's go fishin'. *evil grin*

I learned first about sex from a series of uncomfortable conversations with my parents. For my own therapy's sake, I won't go into details. It's an unwritten rule of mental stability - parents and sex should never so much as be mentioned in the same sentence, let alone parents be allowed to mention sex - ever, under any circumstances - to their children.

Especially if any part of the conversation contains the phrase, "Your mother can be quite the wildcat."

@#$&%$$!!!??? OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD! GAG REFLEX ENGAGED, BRAIN TO SELF DESTRUCT IN T-MINUS 10 SECONDS......

This is the kind of thing that causes aneurysms later in life. You can try to suppress it, but it takes root somewhere in your brain and years later, when you least expect it -

*shudder*

Moving on.

I had Sex Ed in the 4th grade, and the only thing I can remember from that class was thinking,"How in the world can such an unattractive woman know so much about sex?"

XXX stores frighten me. All those battery-operated, smelly, vibrating things. So does porn. But that's a subject for the next post, since I've filled this one with traumatic anticdotes that will haunt me forever.

Yea, I'm not going to sleep tonight.

...to be continued....


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