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Monday, September 29, 2008

Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back

Ah, Meatloaf.

You thought this was going to be some whiny emo post, didn't you? From me? Riiiight...

Who doesn't love Meatloaf? That is, anyone who's heard of him and doesn't think he's the gloppy red-sauced stuff they serve at nursing homes to people who've forgotten to put their pants on that morning.


It still amazes me, even at 26, how the next generation of kids think that Knockin' on Heaven's Door was a breakthrough Guns N' Roses creation (more recently an Avril Lavigne attempt at something palatable, for those too young to even know who Guns N' Roses is), Whip It was written by Disney, and Gene Simmons is that annoyingly gay Sweatin' to the Oldies dude.

Don't even get me started on Kid Bop. (I know, I know, but seriously - don't.) Or how many blatant Bob Dylan rip-offs there are running around there (besides Knockin' on Heaven's Door).

There's a new Metallica album out, Death Magnetic - and I have to place a disclaimer before I state my opinion of the one song I've heard off this thing (the Unforgiven III) - I love Metallica. L - O - V - E. With a capital *MUAH*.

.... but my God guys, are you even trying anymore? Metallica is to metal what Stephen King is to horror. King could write a crap novel in 10 seconds about a possessed transsexual broomstick that terrorizes people by rolling around goosing them in the bums, and still hit #1 on the bestseller list in a week - just like Metallica spun out this piece of crap, and will probably sell millions from the name alone. Does that make them any good? No.

James, Kirk, Lars, Robert - grow your hair back - it's been downhill ever since you lopped it off. Pleeeeaaase.... Just give it a try, what do ya say?

Until next time....

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